Gizardofmars

My cat was born April 8th, 2003 in my kitchen. Her mother was a brown and black calico cat named Pepper who had been born on my porch the previous April. My cat was eventually named Fluffy, and was originally my sister's cat. And her name kinda shifted into Fluffum; simply because it was easier to call for her with that name. Around 2007, my sister moved out and Fluffum began sleeping in my bed and becoming close to me. She would come to me when she needed to be petted or wanted a snack. And as time went on, there were times I'd come to her. There were many times as I began dating that Fluffum became a sort of comfort to me when I'd be upset

so i've noticed something that has always bothered me. i used to be mouthy as fuck (if you've read any of my previous posts, you'd know that). i used to rant on facebook all the time, i was starting drama all the time and just an unruly mess. i literally didn't care. i said and did whatever i wanted; i mouthed off everyone and was in hindsight, ridiculous about many things. but usually, there was a method to my madness. i didn't always mouth off people that didn't deserve it. i was fed up with being an under dog. i had a point to prove. i was chastised for it, too. people hated it. i was ranted about on facebook for my posts more than a coup

sometimes when it's really late at night, i begin to think. i just stare at the cream ceiling and my mind floats away. i dive into my subconscious and one of the things i frequently think about is 'who am i?' well, in my last entry, i covered a lot of this, but whatever. also, don't get mad if this turns into something else entirely. i sometimes wonder who exactly am i and what will become of me. i am so confused about the life i'm living. the society i'm in. the people i'm around. i feel like i'm standing in the middle of a busy street and watching all the cars and people and things just rush by. it's just a big, moving thing and i'm to