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About Varied / Hobbyist Member Raymond Paul LeslieMale/United States Recent Activity
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It's like anything and everything keeping me afloat keeps disappearing. I just feel so lost right now. I honestly don't know the direction my life is headed. I don't get the people who surround me; they seem to eager to go. They all seem to embrace these changes in a way I am not accustomed. I'm frozen in time and forced to watch every person I've ever known move forward, but really quickly. They're all succeeding and planning these futures and I'm drowning in the past because it's all I have. I don't know my future. I don't know where I'm headed, but I've got a feeling it won't be anything great. 

This guy I dig talks about how I haven't peaked yet and everyone else is. That's great and it makes sense, but then I remember when I used to be on top. I was student of the month two times in one year once. Seriously, they aren't supposed to do that but I remember it happening. I was literally so smart and shit and by middle school, all that I could scrape was like a C or lower. I think I've peaked already. Where do I go from here? Who the fuck peaks in 4th grade? Me, apparently. I've lost it, and I'm not sure I'm done losing it. There's so many feelings just rushing through me and I don't know what to make of it all. One second, I'm so happy and I don't even know why and the next I'm on the verge of tears. Everytime I scroll through the damn newsfeed, I see some sad fuckers getting their diplomas. So many that probably cheated their way to the top. So many that lack any moral fiber and just are there to please mommy and daddy. So many that have no idea who they are. I don't know where I'm headed, but I know who I am. Maybe. Or maybe I've forgotten and need to learn again. Maybe I'm panicking for nothing. I'm not for certain, honestly. 
I know nothing. The colors that surrounded me have turned bleak. The bright blue summer sun seems so pale. The smells are gone. It all just feels pointless and scary. The world is so uncertain whether it wants you to succeed or fail. Or maybe I'm uncertain.
I am uncertain. 
  • Mood: Hopeless
  • Listening to: Lana Del Rey

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Gizardofmars
Raymond Paul Leslie
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
Hola senors and senoritas... or maybe senoras? I dunno. I failed Spanish twice.
ANYWAY. I'm Raymond and I'm 18 and this is my DeviantART thing and I'm going to say and a few more times and you're going to like it. And.
I am mostly inspired by 80s culture, but I do take a ton of inspiration from the likes of Lana Del Rey. I also like pizza, penis, 80s horror films, and jokes about tampons and queefing. Any questions?
Oh! I also make movies with Barbies... well, made. I guess I lost my drive to do that long ago, but still maintain that I haven't entirely severed my creative spirit. Okay bye now like my shit okay bye again. Bye. xoxoxo
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:icondemon-sebastian:
Demon-Sebastian Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Happy Birthday~!!! I hope you have a wonderful day~!! <3 :)
Reply
:iconrossk559:
RossK559 Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2013
Thanks For Sexually Harassing Me
On Facebook, Thanks To You
And Others I Am NOW GOING TO SEE A THERAPIST ABOUT SELF HARMING
I HAVE LOST EVERYTHING 
JUST WANT TO LET U KNOW
BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE 
YOU I MIGHT  BE DEAD BY THE END OF THE YEAR 
U BASTARD 
Reply
:iconrossk559:
RossK559 Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2013
[link]
This Really Means A Lot
Thank You :)
Reply
:iconrossk559:
RossK559 Featured By Owner May 29, 2013
Well You Have My Total Attention Now, I'm Not Quite Sure If I've Got Yours Though. Hello?
Reply
:icongizardofmars:
Gizardofmars Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
o.o I don't know you.
Reply
:iconrossk559:
RossK559 Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2013
Perhaps Not Just Yet Then :(
Sorry I Commented On A Couple Of Your Pics :) I'm Sorry :'(
Reply
:iconrossk559:
RossK559 Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2013
And Of Course You Don't Know Me, Alot Of People Don't Want To Know Me :'( Cause In My Life I Am One Of Those People That Don't Blend In With Everyone Else :'( Different That's Me
Lonely, Angry, Strange,
Reply
:iconfluffyspikes:
FluffySpikes Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
hey my friend larry wants to now ur number is that okay lol
Reply
:icongizardofmars:
Gizardofmars Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I don't have a cellphone. :/
But he can add my FB or something? lol
Reply
:iconfluffyspikes:
FluffySpikes Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
okay :) his name is larry enlow, he's going to be happy to add you! ^^
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